Jarvis Hosting New Year Sale and ******GIVEAWAY********

by Jarvis912

UPDATE! THE SURGERY WAS A SUCCESS! WE ARE FINALLY HOME BUT THE CONTEST IS STILL GOING!! GET IN BEFORE NOON EASTERN TOMORROW

Happy New Year!!!

FIRST the giveaway! I am stuck all day and night at the Orthopedic Surgeon with my wife who is getting a total knee replacement. SO....... Tell me some jokes!!! The 1 person that makes me laugh the hardest gets a free month to Jarvis Hosting and Hitman VOD. EVERYONE that participates in the contest will be entered into a randomizer drawing and 2 lucky winners will receive a free month each to Jarvis Hosting and Hitman VOD! Contest ends tomorrow at noon eastern time and winners will be announced sometime tomorrow evening.

NO TRIALS WILL BE GIVEN UNTIL AFTER THE CONTEST IS COMPLETED TOMORROW AT NOON!

TODAY ONLY

Jarvis Hosting would like to wish everyone a happy new year by offering a 20% discount on all of our services today! So:

Instead of $10 per month it will be just $8 for one connection.

Instead of $15 per month for 2 connections it will be $12

Instead of $50 for 6 months one connection it is $40

And instead of $60 for 6 months 2 connections it will be just $48!!

All subs come with a FREE separate subscription to Hitman VOD

If you dont know who we are we understand! We are the new kid on the block just trying to offer Super Stable connections and excellent customer service!

Our main focus is on:

USA Channels and Sports

We also have OVER 400 USA regional local channels

Over 3000 movies in VOD over 250 of them are in 4K UHD!

Over 200 24/7 Channels!

And of course more movie channels and sports channels than anyone could ever watch!

Give us a try and let us impress you!

Sale ends 1/1/19 at 10pm eastern time.

CONTEST CLOSED!!! CONGRATS TO u/bemindful343 for making my wife laugh the hardest while she was on heavy pain killers

CONGRATS TO u/ogAOLhax0r and u/BansMakeEmDance for winning the randomizer!! Message me for your free month!!

yeah_It_dat_guy

Q: What do each tickle me elmos get before leaving the factory? A: two test tickles.

manhead16

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit... an egg! 🥚

bemindfull343

My three year old daughters favorite joke...Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.

DJ_Overdose

My mate called me today in a terrible state. He’s having some painting done in his kitchen. When the decorator was cleaning his brushes with white spirit, his cat thought it was milk and drank loads of it...

It ran like a maniac in circles. Ran up the walls, then ran over the ceiling before falling down on to the floor.

OMG! Was it dead you say? Nah, just ran out of petrol!!! :))

Jarvis912

Keep em coming folks!! I need some material to make my wife laugh while she is still high on the crazy strong pain meds!

BansMakeEmDance

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

yeah_It_dat_guy

So bemindfull won twice? Now that's lucky.

Glad the surgery was a success and you got your wife laughing.

Jarvis912

CONTEST CLOSED!!! CONGRATS TO u/bemindful343 for making my wife laugh the hardest while she was on heavy pain killers

CONGRATS TO u/ogAOLhax0r and u/BansMakeEmDance for winning the randomizer!! Message me for your free month!!

Montrof

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwomen.

-snow balls

FBlack5

"Trump"

Does the joke have to be funny?

ogAOLhax0r

Knock knock Who's there? You You who? You stuck in a hospital while I'm not

Hope everything goes well with your wife. And have a happy New Years.

imdagodfatha2

Husband: Darling, I have to confess you that when I’m having sex with you, I sometimes think about other women.

Wife: Oh, you bastard. When I have sex with other men, I always think about you!